Quarrymen
There is a version of this where Dash Bierstadt retired two years ago. Instead he is 38 and averaging 10.8. He reads Durable, which is most of the explanation.
He has 1,045 yards from scrimmage in three seasons, and nine touchdowns. He got to 541 once. Not this time. He has done it in two buildings.
He is from Auckland, New Zealand. He is the first man in the building most mornings. He was drafted on a medical gamble that three clubs would not take.
The club is 2-6. Yusuf Larue is in year two of it. He is out of contract after this.
He has never once been photographed smiling on a sideline, and always has.